Memory Care Activities to Help You Engage With Your Loved One Who Has Dementia

If you have a friend or family member who is living with Alzheimer’s disease or another type of dementia, then you may be familiar with the challenges that can exist when it comes to interacting with your loved one — especially in the later stages of the disease.

The loss of precious memories, along with an inability to form new ones, can be both frightening and frustrating for those who have dementia. Difficulty finding the right words to express themselves adds to the frustration. Hearing loss – something that often comes with aging – may further complicate matters.

By putting yourself in the shoes of your loved one, it’s easy to see how a break down in the ability to communicate can cause them to feel self-conscious, which can lead to withdrawal. The less your friend or family member participates in activities and conversations, the more likely they are to feel as though they have no sense of purpose.

They may respond to feelings of boredom and a lack of attention by exhibiting aggressive behaviors such as hitting, biting or shouting. They might pace or cry. Or, they may shut down.

A lack of meaningful engagement between people who have dementia and their friends and family can cause even rock-solid relationships to deteriorate.

What can you do to prevent this from happening? Try getting creative with your approach.

Using Music to Reminisce

The songs we know from our childhood and teen years are among the strongest memories we have. They have the ability to transport our minds back to those earlier times — even if we haven’t heard those songs for decades.

If you’re curious, this article by The Washington Post explains why music has such a powerful effect on memory. We’ve seen the magical impact of music in our memory care programming here at Heritage Community of Kalamazoo.

For the December Memory Learning Café, we invited a group of students to come sing Christmas carols. As you might have already guessed, many of the people who attended, including residents and their family caregivers, were quick to join in and sing along.

We’ve also used music therapy to stimulate conversations during other activities in our Memory Care Learning Center. Simply hearing a familiar song can cause someone to comment on what the song means to them, and soon several people are sharing their own memories of songs from their past.

If you want to try some music therapy with your loved one, choose music they enjoyed in their youth. Encourage them to sing along. There’s a good chance they’ll want to dance, too, so go ahead and have fun.

Awakening Olfactory-Associated Memories With Aromatherapy

Our sense of smell can be as powerful a memory trigger as music. For someone who grew up on a farm, the smell of hay can take them right back to their childhood. The scent of pine or gingerbread can evoke memories of happy holidays from years gone by.

Combining Aromatherapy With Art

In the past year or so, we’ve held several art therapy events in our Memory Care Learning Center and at the Portage Zhang Senior Center that incorporated aromatherapy.

Kristy Carpita, LPN CDP, a nurse and hospice care consultant with Gentiva Hospice, led the art therapy sessions. Using paints made with sugar-free, lactose-free yogurt, food coloring and food-grade essential oils, she helped those who attended (people from throughout the Kalamazoo community and their companion caregivers) create various art projects.

For example, in an activity last summer they used cotton swabs to paint lavender sprigs. Kristy used lavender essential oil in the purple paint, which has a calming effect. They also had lavender lemonade to drink, which was a big hit.

In a different session, they painted mint chocolate chip ice cream cones. The session was held earlier in the day, and because minty scents can help with clarity and alertness, Kristy used peppermint essential oil in the green paint.

In the fall, Kristy held a session in which those who attended, including companion caregivers, painted wooden pumpkins. The orange paint had pumpkin essential oil in it, and pumpkin spice apple cider was offered as a refreshment.

The reason Kristy chose yogurt as the paint base and food-grade essential oils is because some people who are in a more advanced stage of dementia use their hands to paint with instead of a brush, and it’s not uncommon for them to “taste” the paint as they work.

The classes help people reminisce, Kristy says, which sparks conversations and encourages interactions between those with dementia and their companion caregivers.

“The idea is to meet them where they are,” she says, instead of repeating things with the hope they’ll eventually remember, or becoming impatient when they can’t remember.

People in the early stages of dementia benefit from the essential oils as well, Kristy notes, whether the oils help to bring back memories or simply make them feel better.

Best Friends™ Make Every Day Better

Kristy’s remark about meeting people with dementia “where they are” ties in with the Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s and dementia care, a philosophy of care developed by two experts in the field of Alzheimer’s disease research, Virginia Bell and David Troxel.

The idea is to be a “best friend” to someone with dementia, empathizing with them, remaining positive and helping them feel safe, secure and valued. We embrace this approach at Heritage, and our staff in the Memory Care Learning Center receive training so they know how to implement it with residents.

Training in the Best Friends Approach enables our staff to focus on the person rather than the dementia, placing an emphasis on patience, understanding and developing true friendships. It’s how we would want our own family members to be treated.

Relatives, friends and personal caregivers can learn how to use the Best Friends Approach, too. As Kristy says, it’s an “amazing tool” that can give you a new perspective and make a genuine difference in how you interact with your loved one.

Other Creative Memory Care Activities for Seniors

There are countless ways to be creative when looking for ways to interact with a loved one who has dementia. Think about what he or she enjoys doing or has enjoyed in the past.

1. Try cooking or baking a favorite food together. The flavors and aromas might bring back memories of earlier times that can spark a conversation. It may also help stimulate your loved one’s appetite.
2. Watch your loved one’s favorite old movies together, or watch videos on YouTube of places they’ve been, clips from old TV shows they used to like or musical artists they’d seen or listened to when they were young.
3. Grow some plants together, whether in a garden or flowerbed outside or a windowsill herb garden.
4. Find an art project you and your loved one can work on, or build something together. Keep it simple, as too many choices or too many steps can quickly become overwhelming.

Consider activities that stimulate the senses or encourage some level of problem solving, even if it’s a simple matching game. To generate some fun ideas, go to a site such as National Day Calendar to see what’s being celebrated on any given day.

And remember, it’s the act of doing that matters. So, if your loved one gets distracted and doesn’t finish the activity or the end result isn’t perfect, that’s OK.

Technology as Therapy

We incorporate sound and light therapy in our memory care program at Heritage. You can do a similar version at home, using a sound machine, home sound system, TV or other device to play nature sounds that have a calming effect.

Dementia can interfere with a person’s circadian rhythm, which in turn can cause sleep disorders. Light therapy can help reset and regulate the circadian rhythm.

Given our short winter days in Michigan, we’ve found that some residents benefit from spending time in our light therapy room, where we have a large screen TV set up to emulate sunlight.

Light therapy boxes are available that also mimic natural outdoor light. You can find more information about them online (or in our Memory Care Learning Center, if you’re in the Kalamazoo area). We recommend consulting your loved one’s physician before initiating light therapy at home.

In the Area? Visit Our Memory Care Learning Center

Residents in our memory care program have the advantage of receiving personalized care provided by our licensed nursing staff, along with the option to participate in special activities developed and led by a coordinator who is trained in Alzheimer’s care programming.

We also host activities, offer support groups and provide an abundance of caregiver resources in our Memory Care Learning Center, which is open to the entire Kalamazoo community.

If you live in or near Kalamazoo or are planning to visit, we encourage you to come by and check out the center. If you’re interested, we can show you around our community while you’re here.

“Sometimes the hardest step is just taking the first step,” Kristy points out. She encourages people who have a family member with dementia to venture out and explore, noting, “There is support out there.”

To learn more about our memory care program, call us at 269-364-6560. Or, fill out our brief contact form and we’ll be in touch.